They Are Really Going To Do It…….

Well I got a phone call this morning and it’s official. Our local Early Intervention program is going to cut Parker’s physical therapy sessions back. Way back. Reed and I are simply incredulous. Finally Parker has the energy to put into learning to crawl and NOW they decide to cut back his therapies. The paper I got stated the reason as “Parker’s doing better.” Uh…hello? Parker will turn two in November, still can’t go in and out of a sit on his own, can’t push through his arms, and can’t crawl and for the 3rd month now still weighs less than 17 pounds. But according to EI he is ‘doing better.’ Pardon me a moment while I go and bang my head against the wall.

I realize that a EI’s main goal is to teach the parent how to provide the therapy. And provide therapy I do. But the bottom line is that I am NOT a physical therapist and Parker needs more help. His health issues have taken a large toll on his gross motor skills. There is no room in our budget for private therapies. I have tightened our financial belt to where we are turning blue and applied every tighwad strategy I know, and the money simply isn’t there.

I have a schedule that reminds me what time we work on physical therapy, what time we work on feeding issues, what times we work on cognitive issues. This same schedule reminds me of the 5 times a day that I need to stop and administer oral meds as well as make sure that the 6 bottles of Pediasure with microlipids have been downed. On good days I can sneak in a shower. And to be honest, being as homebound as I am can really mess with your emotions. It’s hard. Very worth it, but hard.

Housework for me gets done after 8:30 when my younger kids and Parker are in bed. Laundry, ironing? Well they are done during the 10:00 news…….and long after. Going to be by midnight is early for me. But bathrooms still need to be scrubbed, my other kids still need clean underwear, and lunches made don’t make themselves. And with the increased price of school lunches, home lunches are the only way to go.

I am angry as to how services in this state are set up. Everything goes by your income. At first glance this may seem logical. But dig a little deeper and the descrepancies are glaring. A family may bring in less money than our family does, and because that family brings in less gross income, they receive services……and we don’t. But if you were to look at how much out of pocket expenses we are responsible for our family is actually LIVING on much less than the other family. Because Utah goes strictly by incoming……..not outgoing monies. Then when you look at the amount of taxes we pay into a system that we are constantly denied by, the picture gets even more frustrating. We are living on less than other families that are receiving services while paying more for the same services that we don’t qualify for.

Now I would never want any child denied services when they need them. I guess that I am just really frustrated that there isn’t enough to go around to all the kids that have need of them.

Then there are the several thousand dollars that Reed will lose in pay this year, but that is a topic for another day. Momma’s don’t let your babies grow up to be educators. At least not in Utah.

This experience with trying to get help for Parker has made a real impression on how I look at a lot of things. It will play a major role in how I choose to vote during the next elections. And while I am sure that nobody will mourn the loss of just one little vote, it will make me feel that if only for a second, I have a little control in these matters.

And that feeling sure trumps the feelings I have when we receive yet one more denial of services slip.

My heart is weary from so much worring about how to get the help for Parker and how to pay for it all…….on top of all the other medical bills

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