As I sit here typing Parker is walking around in mismatched jammies reversing one just cleaned up mess after another. Tired doesn’t begin to express how I’m feeling, as I attempt to plead with the universe to divert something exciting my way to help me overcome this Special Needs Mom Burnout.
Now, I’m not talking about the kind of excitement that includes midnight Life Flight rides, or the heart pumping terror of worrying if your kid’s pulmonary hypertension is getting worse.
I’m talking about something uplifting that has the power to make it easier to handle the day to day stuff.
Truly, my cup runneth over with routine. My dreams have shrunk and I simply don’t have the umph to reinflate them right now.
At least Parker thinks it is fun to vacuum.
I day dream of time away, sleeping in a bed, the sheets on which, somebody else will have to wash. A meal somebody else cooks. Time off from constant duty and what feels a bit like carrying the weight of the world of my shoulders.
A little bit of passion…….a little bit of something to look forward to, would go far to serve as an infusion of recommitment to this life that I seem to have forgotten how much I truly do love.
I can do this, I tell myself.
I can bring forth a spark that will combust into the bit of umph I need right now to flip my attitude back to the sunny side.
But first I need to take a really long nap.