When Reed and I first told our kids that there was a possibility of Parker having an extra chromosome it took a minute for the reality of the situation to sink in. They each quietly went their respective ways to ponder and think.
But a few hours later the whole group (gang? gaggle? herd?) of them came to me and told me that they had all gotten together and had talked and prayed. They had come to the decision that no matter what Parker’s issues may be it was okay with them. They knew Parker was meant to be a part of our family. He was one of us. They promised to be there for him and love him no matter what.
And they have kept their word. Each and every one of them. To the point of Parker pretty much being the most popular person in the house. Each time one of my kids come home the first thing they do is to follow the oxygen tubing. They know that where the tubing ends is where Parker begins.
(And in case any of my kids happen to read this, I hope you remember that the house rule is that washing your hands is actually the first thing you should do when you get home. I’m just sayin’.)
My kids have contests to see who Parker wants to hang out with. The prize being not only bragging rights, but one on one time with the little guy.
So imagine my surprise when today my twelve year old told me that he wanted a new brother. One that looked like he was three years old. One that he could run and play football and soccer with. One that could talk and eat without needing a tube in his stomach.
You know. A normal brother. The kind that all the other kids have.
I must admit that after my shock wore off, a bit of anger set it. But luckily my heart won out over my head and I took a minute to see things from a big brother’s perspective.
It wasn’t that my twelve year old didn’t love Parker. Quite the opposite. He loves Parker so much that he grieves for what he thinks can never be for Parker.
And so the twelve year old and I talked about our dreams and goals for this kid we both love and adore so much. I told the twelve year old that while it will take Parker longer to achieve some the dreams we have for him, I absolutely believe that Parker will one day run and talk and play football and soccer.
And the victory will be so much sweeter because the obstacles were so much greater.
It all must have made sense to the twelve year old. Because a few minutes later I noticed that he had swiped Parker right out of the hands of the nine year old and was spending some quality time with the little bro.
Doing what boys, especially brothers who are the best of friends, do best:
At least the boys in our family anyway.
What a sweet post. Praying for your family.
What a beautiful, wonderful tender post.
Thank you for always, always, speaking straight from your heart. Sharing the most tender and intimate moments families can have. Sharing your fears and frustrations. Sharing your your pain, but mostly, sharing the love you have for each other. Unconditional love always.
Our prayers continue, Zoey and crew
I just wanted to let you know that many of the Pediatric Rehab places will accept Medicaid. So if you are able to get it, you may be able to get private therapies for Parker. My niece and nephew both go to Pediatric Rehab places in Utah county and they are both on Medicaid. They go every two weeks, but it’s better than nothing.
Good luck.
So sweet your children are. It just melts my heart to read about the closeness and love your family has with one another. Thank you for allowing us into your lifes.
Aw, Tammy — that just broke my heart! I know how hard it is to carry the burden of broken hopes for your child — I can’t imagine how tough that would be for a twelve-year-old brother. Your kids are phenomenal. All of them.
This warmed my heart today. Thanks for sharing, and give that big brother an extra hug
Brothers though and through – amazing thoughts amazing post – amazing little boys!
Oh Tammy, that was a beautiful entry. I was all teared up reading what your son said, sigh… but you handled it wonderfully. You always have something wise to say!
I have never read a more beautiful writing…been privy to a more precious moment. Tammy, I love you. I love your family.
God has such special plans for Parker. He just does.
ox
and prayers, always.
very, very sweet…..kids can surprise right? you are very lucky to have the family you have…just precious!
Ok, that picture…..that should be printed and framed. That is adorable. And a true testament to the love those boys share.
Oh how heartbreaking. ANd understandable. And beautiful.
Your blogs reduce me to tears – happy tears, sad tears, tears of joy. Parker is a very lucky boy to have such wonderful siblings.
Oh Tammy, this post brought tears to my eyes. They look so precious sleeping together. You are all so lucky to have each other. And sweet Parker couldnt be in a more perfect, loving family!
Love to all,
Amy
Beautiful Tammy. That picture is just fabulous too.
This post made me cry. And that picture!
Tammy: I just love this picture. It is right up there with the picture of Parker and big bro (your oldest boy?) Your two boys have such a look of love on their faces as they hug their little bro.
Your are in our prayers.
I wandered over here from Days to Come. I have to tell you that your post brought tears to my eyes. As a mom of 4 (3 boys), it touched my heart. Thanks for sharing. I just said a prayer for you.
You’re right … the reward of doing “average” everyday stuff most kids take for granted will be all the sweeter with the delays. Cute pic … great boys
Hi! I am just checking in. I hope things are okay and everything went well with the cardiology appointment on Tuesday.
I love you all,
Amy
I’m crying because I too have a son that wonders “why my brother?” and it’s heart breaking… thanks for the post.