Well, The Call From The

Cath Lab came this morning. They had at first thought of scheduling Parker’s right heart cath this Thursday morning. My total silence must have signaled the fact that this Thursday was way too soon for me to be prepared emotionally and spiritually to hand over my son for what could be a very complicated test. The nurse must be a Mom herself for, without missing a beat, she skipped down to the next appointment and told me she would schedule Parker in for the 9th of May.

I have been hoping to get my hands on that new CPAP machine for Parker and give him a few nights on that before this procedure. Anything to try and tip the balance in Parker’s favor. But as of today Parker’s ENT has YET to write the simple note stating that in his professional medical opinion Parker’s health indeed necessitates this new and improved miracle machine. We are talking what, five lines and a signature at most? There isn’t a spare 2 minutes anywhere at all in this doctor’s day? Especially when the outcome of this endeavor could mean so much to Parker’s health?

The pit in my stomach is getting heavier by the minute. For the last year I have envisioned going into this cath procedure fresh off the news of a positive echo report. With the sinus surgery behind us, Parker’s nose and upper airway should no longer be a concern. He should have been able to tolerate wearing his CPAP each and every night. But this is the real world where I spend an obscene amount of time trying to keep a medically fragile child alive while taking care of 5 other kids, keeping a home running and a smile on my face. Can’t forget that smile, now can I?

I’m doing my best to trust in a Father in Heaven that I know without a doubt loves Parker more than I can begin to understand. I am hoping that by the time I place this beautiful child into the arms of his cardiologist and watch them walk into the surgery room that I will have the peace that comes from knowing that regardless of the outcome of this procedure, all will be well.

Because I know that there is one far greater than I at the helm.

I still ask for prayers. Prayers that in the next couple of days, one way or another, we will be able to procure this new CPAP for Parker and that Parker will be able to tolerate this new machine. Prayers that Parker’s upper airway will open up and that he will be able to breathe through his nose easily and not have to tax his heart with his effort to breathe. And we ask for prayers that, if it be our Father in Heaven’s will, Parker’s test results will come back showing that his pulmonary pressures are receding, and that we might be blessed to have this amazing spirit with us for many years to come.

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