Waiting For Wednesday

As though I were living in some kind of Twilight Zone episode I find myself thinking that I can actually hear each second tick off the clock as we move closer to Wednesday morning and Parker’s Right Heart Cath procedure. I wish I could be as strong as my sweet friend, Heather, who just underwent brain surgery to remove a tumor yesterday. Her posts of her faith in Christ simply inspires and challenges others to develop their faith as well. Now I’m not saying that I don’t have faith. I do. But mine is still more along the lines of a work in progress. It’s my faith that has kept me from giving up during the last couple of years. Unfortunately, by now one would think that my faith should be strong enough that I could totally allow myself to remove my will from God’s plan for Parker and his future. ‘Giving Parker up to God’ is how I think Heather would word it.

Sigh. I’m not even close. I’m trying. Really, I am. I’ll keep you updated on any progress. It is MUCH harder than it sounds. Much harder.

My Dad called last night asking what exactly was the benefit to Parker undergoing this Heart Cath. The biggest benefit, I thought, was letting us know exactly where his pulmonary pressures are. Knowing Parker’s pulmonary pressures would let us know if he was getting healthier, and if he could endure the rather invasive pull through procedure to make his ostomy bag no longer necessary. My Dad asked me if it was really important to me if Parker no longer needed that ostomy bag. Truthfully, an ostomy bag is no big deal at all. You can live a long an happy life even with an ostomy bag. I realized then that my goal should be getting Parker healthy……period. I’m no longer going to think of pull through surgeries until (Heavenly Father willing) Parker’s pulmonary pressures have either reversed themselves or are low enough and stable enough that Parker no longer needs the assistance of oxygen 24/7.

That makes the biggest benefit of Wednesday’s procedure the opportunity of knowing if Parker’s pressures are moving in the right direction, and if his meds are still working. It will also provide an opportunity to try out new meds while Parker is zonked out and see right then and there if they could have a positive effect on Parker’s PH.

Two years ago Parker had his first Right Heart Cath procedure. His pressures were 117. The cardiologist told us recently that nobody expected Parker to still be here today. With pressures like that one’s heart simply can’t last very long. Via echo cardiograms we know his pressures have come down quite a bit. After Wednesday we will know if they are still coming down, are maintaining, or are on the rise.

Our family will be fasting on Sunday in Parker’s behalf. Then after Church and in the evening after Brant’s Eagle Ceremony, Reed and my Dad will give Parker a blessing. Rigel is going to give a thought and a scripture and Bailey is going to sing. My other kids will be offering prayers.

We are still asking for prayers from our extended family and friends. Prayers that all will go well on Wednesday. Prayers that Parker’s cardiologist, Dr. Day, will find other options in treating Parker’s PH. Prayers that we will be granted the blessing of Parker’s pulmonary pressures being reversed to a level that would afford that this sweet soul could be granted many, many more years as a member of our family.

And in case you need a little reminder of who we are asking you to pray for, I offer you this:


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