Blogging has changed since I first began this site about 8 years ago. It started as a way to keep a journal of sorts about Parker’s life and add in a bit of advocacy as well. As time has gone on bloggers have made pretty successful businesses from their blogs. I enjoyed opportunities of working with Brands and working online. It seems that as this time of year rolls around I find myself trying to figure out what exactly I want to do with Praying for Parker. After a lot of soul searching and prayer, I’ve decided that it is time for this to be the end of the beginning of my blogging.
I once blogged for the joy of sharing the beauty of being Parker’s Mama. No SEO worries. No spending time promoting my posts. Just writing for the love of it. Now you’ve got to be active on Twitter, jump through the never ending hoops put out by Google to show up some where the first thousand pages of a Google search, be active on Google+, post on other blogs in order to be identified as an ‘expert’ in your field, ad the list goes on. What started out as a simple blog post has morphed into a full time activity.
I’m going to be deactivating my Twitter and Google+ accounts. Instead I may actually teach myself how to upload a picture or two on Instagram. Cute pictures of an amazing kid with the bonus of not needing to figure out any SEO.
I’ll still keep my Pinterest Boards. I have too many great educational ideas stored there. By putting a drastic stop to my online time, I might even have the time to implement some of those ideas.
For those who have asked to be Friends on my private Facebook page, please know that I’m not accepting any more friendships there. I’ve been reducing my friends list as a matter of fact. Parker does have a fan FB page and I will be updating that at least once a day. A simple update, but an update none the less.
As far as what will be going on here, well, I‘m aiming for two posts a week. If I make that goal, well that will be awesome. If I don’t, well that will be how people will know Parker needed me more.
I’ve tried blogging in the mornings. I’m not a morning person though and that was time spent basically just looking at an empty screen without the brain power to string two words together. It also meant that I wasn’t able to get outside and walk the way I used to.
I’ve tried blogging in the afternoons. You know, the time my kids would come home from school wanting to share with me how their day went. The time I used to spend doing things that helped to save money so that we can one day pay off the crazy amount of medical debt we owe on a certain Hero. The time needed to keep a house running.
I finally decided that blogging at night was the best time. Sitting all cozy after dinner was over and cleaned up seemed to be the very best time. Except it was actually the very worst time. Reed is exhausted when he comes home. He needs time to decompress and he’s also the one who usually does the nightly running around of kids too young to drive. If I was blogging and Reed was trying to rest enough to spend the night with Parker in his safe room, well that left Parker either being horrendously naughty or sitting quietly by himself stimming with his oxygen cord.
I’ve tried a zillion ways to figure out how to do it all. Homeschool. Keep Parker alive. Keep a home running. Be a wife and a mother to my other 5 kids and still find a way to keep myself healthy. It’s taken a few really scary experiences, but I’ve finally, FINALLY figured out that I simply can’t do it all. Who’d a thunk?
The only thing that I have that I can afford to let go of is my bordering on compulsive computer time.
Having this beautiful little boy of mine walk up and in great frustration slam down the top to my laptop has finally been the wake up call I’ve needed. Well, that and watching him do things just for the attention rather it be positive or negative. My heart simply broke when I realized what I had been trying so hard to rationalize.
Things HAVE to change. And so they are. Starting this very minute.
There’s a real world out there beyond this computer screen. While mine and Parker’s world may start and end within our little bits of lawn, it’s time to get back to adventures and smiles and proving to my Father in Heaven just how grateful I am to be a wife and mother.
It’s time to get back to joy.