Parker had an IEP assessment today. This is when his weekly preschool teacher comes and tests him to see if she can mark any of his IEP goals as mastered.
Better known as “Who The Hell Stole My Kid And Replaced Him With This Terrifying Clone ThatÃ‚Â Suddenly Remembers NOTHING?”
No embarrassing habit was left unemployed. Not even his newly developed burping skills. (Which reminds me, I need to
beat thank his older siblings for that one.)
I know perfectly well that Parker can identify red and yellow; the colors on his IEP. He can also recognize blue, green, purple, and white which aren’t on his IEP.
His teacher knows this too. But he’s got to do it 3 times in a row before she can officially pass it off. Three times in a row during an assessment.
Cause all the other three times in a row he’s done it don’t count.
Parker put a square, circle, triangle, and rectangle into it’s proper place on a puzzle. But when I asked him to hand me the square, circle, triangle, or rectangle he was suddenly struck clueless.
Cause we haven’t only done this exact same task a zillion and one times before.
Once the assessment ended and his teacher left, someone’s mind must have been suddenly returned to it’s rightful owner.Ã‚Â BecauseÃ‚Â then he couldÃ‚Â hand me the shapes and he signedÃ‚Â the color of each…. just to rub it in.
Parker can match an actual picture of an object to another actual picture of the same object.
He can match an object to it’s picture.
Next up is matching object to object. I’m thinking of pawning this one off one of my kids. Considering how well they taught Parker to burp and all, this should be a walk in the park.
I was feeling a bit discouraged during this assessment until the Preschool teacher showed me not only how far he had come on his IEP, but how he has mastered skills not even written in his IEP.
Creating a conversation in my head something like this:
“The kid is almost FIVE. He should be doing way more than he is.”
” But remember the first three years of his life spent doing nothing more than fighting to live.Ã‚Â And then there is the prematurity.Ã‚Â That factors in some too.”
“That’s true, yet……… really, he should be signing so much more.”
“Don’t forget that he’s now signing his name, please and sorry, plus really cool stuff like Parker wants more swing, along with NO! Mom! NO!”
It’s about this time I feel as though either my head or my heart is about to explode. But since I would be the one required to clean up the mess, I try and focus on something else.
Like how much laundry I have to do. Or how screwed I’m gonna be if global warming and peak oil really are true and I’m forced to give up my air conditioning.
I’m not worried about his PT assessment. The kid is walking, climbing and into everything.
But the Speech assessment will be grim. Cause this kid only signs when he is in desperate and dire straits.
The rest he expects us to pick up telepathically.
But if telepathy actually worked, Reed would be walking through the door with a giant Dr. Pepper and take out for dinner right this very second.
So for now I’ll regroup and continue to dream of the day when Parker can tell me, in no uncertain terms, each and every thing I’ve ever done wrong.
Cementing for time and all eternity the fact that Parker truly is a typical Hodson boy.