Sometimes I’m Afraid

UPDATE: After reading the comments below I found myself wishing we could all get together and just talk and talk and talk.

Oh.  And give lots of hugs.   Cause, sometimes hugs, like chocolate can go a long way with making a girl’s heart sing.

~~______________~~

If you were to ask me whether or not Parker has made my marriage stronger or more stressful, I’d have to hesitate before I answered you.

Not because I don’t know the answer, but because I’m not sure how you would  react to it.

If I told you that Parker has made our marriage, our family, a stronger unit would you think I was trying to set myself up as some kind of perfect parent, or I was trying to make you feel bad?

Cause I’m totally not.  On both accounts.

Sometimes it feels as though parents of kids with special needs eye me with suspicion when I say that Parker has been nothing but a joy….exploding ostomy bags and all.

Would you be afraid to tell me that your child with special needs has caused an unbelievable amount of stress in your family?

Would you believe me when I say that I respect your feelings?

I might not have experienced them, but I respect them.

You know how when someone looks at you and tells you that they know just how you feel……and you know deep down inside that they really don’t.  I mean how could they?  They’ve never walked a mile in your heart.

Well, I don’t want to be that person.

We  all find ourselves in circumstances that are as varying as our children’s diagnoses.

It’s only natural that our experiences will be different.   That we might not truly know how another is feeling, but we still respect those feelings and support their owner.

Has there ever been a time when you’ve been afraid to share a milestone your kid has achieved for fear of making another parent feel badly that their child hasn’t mastered (or maybe never will) that milestone?

Has there ever been a time when you have chosen not share your fears or struggles of raising a child with special needs because you were afraid of the judgments of others?

I believe in the strength and power that lies within this niche we call special needs.  But to fully utilize it’s potential, we’ve got to have trust in each other.

We need to celebrate the achievements of others, while keeping the faith that our kid’s day will come in it’s own unique way.

There’s so much we could learn from each other if we could just find the courage to open up, believing that we have the best intentions of ALL of our children at heart.

Even if we end up disappointed a time or two, I don’t think anyone ever really loses out when they share or ask with good intent.  They are the ones who can walk away with their heads held high knowing they have spoken from their hearts.

24 Comments

  1. Jasmine Mar 29, 10
    • Tammy & Parker Mar 30, 10
  2. Heather
    Twitter:
    Mar 29, 10
  3. Janet Mar 29, 10
  4. mamikaze
    Twitter:
    Mar 29, 10
    • Tammy & Parker Mar 30, 10
  5. Lacey and Jax Mar 29, 10
    • Tammy & Parker Mar 30, 10
  6. Megs Mar 29, 10
    • Tammy & Parker Mar 30, 10
  7. Barbara
    Twitter:
    Mar 29, 10
    • Tammy & Parker Mar 30, 10
  8. KYouell Mar 29, 10
    • Tammy & Parker Mar 30, 10
  9. beverly Mar 29, 10
  10. Suzie Smith Mar 30, 10
    • Tammy & Parker Mar 30, 10
  11. Katie Jones Mar 30, 10
    • Tammy & Parker Mar 30, 10
  12. Barbara
    Twitter:
    Apr 1, 10
  13. Cody Apr 2, 10
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