Having a non-verbal child can be challenging.
Imagine trying to figure out what Parker wants when he’s needs are outside his signing vocabulary or the pictures on his Tap to Talk.
Parker’s not good at telling me what or where hurts, or identifying what is making him angry or sad.
Often when Parker needs something, I can quiet my mind, and focus in on his specific need. I’ll get a vision in my mind, a feeling in my heart and words make their way into my head and I begin to discern what it is that Parker is in need of.
Is that Twilight Zone music playing in the background for you yet?
I can’t feel Parker’s heart when I’m upset or I’ve allowed myself to get involved in too much doing.
I have to be living slowly.
Deliberately.
Prayerfully.
I have to be putting what is most important first.
I go through times when I think about starting amazing schools for those with special needs, creating websites where parents can trade their unused supplies, lobbying for the lives of the weakest amongst us.
Good causes, all. But it’s a fine line between being in tune with Parker’s heart and caught up in too much doing.
Ultimately I’ll be reminded of how important my attention to Parker ‘s now is. Of how much there is to learn about recognizing the spirit.
It’s then that I place a bookmark to keep my list of ‘maybe one days‘ handy.
And I’ll be thankful for all that right in this very moment.
What about you? Do you have a way of just knowing what your child needs……no words needed?
I know what you mean! My daughter is non-verbal and it would be so much easier if she could answer some questions about where she hurts, if she has a headache, etc. We live by intuition and studying her and her cues.
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Love, love, love this post Tammy. You put into words my life, I think we are in the same Twilight Zone. Even though Sam has words he will not express things that hurt, how he feels or what is bothering him. I have always called it diagnosis by observation.
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Beautiful post! My daughter has a communication delay. It is overwhelming sometimes to think I’m the only one in this world that can understand what she is saying. What would she do without me?
Lennon was non-verbal for a long time and even though he has words now we still struggle to figure out what it is that he needs. He will still often use pointing or “bringing” me to the object of desire. After every surgery he goes back to being non-verbal and has to be reminded to use his words.. and sometimes I just let him be what he needs to be – my little boy!
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– my whole class currently is basically non-verbal. If you don’t yet have access to Boardmaker, you may want to consider purchasing (or just creating) some simple pics for basic needs. A voice output system also can be a great resource. Often a child is more motivated to use something like this to indicate pain or to indicate what he/she wants simply because they have the reinforcement of hearing the word said aloud. But, of course, you still need to rely on a mother’s (or, in my case, teacher’s) intuition a great deal of the time
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