A few months ago Reed made some changes to our internet.
Immediately after making these changes my laptop became obsolete.
Oh, I tried sticking this little thing into the side of my laptop so that it could connect to our internet.
It worked sometimes.
But most often not.
Instead trying to blog, or even go online became more hassle than it was worth.
Last night my laptop gave up the ghost.
Nobody around here seems too concerned. In fact they felt I spent way too much time online anyway.
Somehow it never dawned on any of them how important this blog really was to me. Being able to connect with others who understand what is can sometimes be like to spend the majority of your time at home, trying to keep a kid alive.
The only reason it the whole online thing was really working is because I could take the laptop into the main room with Parker. It might have taken me hours to complete a post, but I could add a line here and there as I walked by while I was homeschooling, or cooking, or doing therapies with Parker.
The same with taking care of the stuff over at 5 Minutes at Special Needs.
Funds for a new laptop simply aren’t in the budget. And I just don’t have what it would take to fight my kids for time on our desktop in the evenings.  Because that is what it would take. A total fight.
And I’m simply too tired to gear up for yet another battle.
I have one more giveaway to host. And one more article to post.
My domain name expires in the next couple of weeks. So when that happens I think I’ll just let my online life expire too.
But I know there will be other Mama’s out there who will willingly carry on the battle.
And I’ll be praying for all of you.
PS: And just because there always seems to be a Troll or two around when you’ve pretty much hit your lowest (cause we all know that Trolls would never dare take you on eye to eye) this post is NOT a solicitation for funds to purchase a new laptop. And none will be accepted. Money from the donation button on Parker’s blog has ALWAYS gong to keeping our Brave Hero alive.  I’ve always been VERY open and honest on this blog, and I don’t see any reason to change now.
It’s going to be so sad to not be able to read posts from you anymore. They were always an inspiration. You have taught through your blog what the important things are in life and to always feel blessed for every positive step. I pray for your family daily and that will never stop. Praying for you and parker always.
Nooooo. I need my Parker Fix. And my Tammy Fix.
Hugs, f.
Twitter: marriedlife
May 6, 10
Oh Tammy, I’m sorry! I know how important it is to have an outlet and a connection to the outside world when you’re trapped at home. I wish I had a laptop to send you, but unfortunately mine is so old it probably wouldn’t help. Maybe someone will decide to sponsor you… I hope? Through 5 Minutes especially?
Love.
No!!!!!!!!! I need you online & I need your blog!!!
Prayers that things work out for the best, whatever that may be. (((hugs)))
make an chart and set a timer for internet time so you can get a few minutes in there. I would miss you if you expire! Moms need their outside connections too!
I will miss you!!!! I hope that everything turns out well. We are going to be in Utah at the end of June and I would love a chance to meet you. Email me if you are up for that.
Twitter: therextras
May 6, 10
So, just the blog is going, right? You will still email in the dark of the night and on weekends, right?
I’m going to continue to pray for Parker and Tammy and you cannot make me stop! So there!
Twitter: MommaHopeful
May 6, 10
OH NO!!!!!!! I fear mine is on the way out too….it’s making noises. Funny noises.
Smooch…I adore you. miracles happen to those who believe!
It would be a huge loss to all of us Tammy!! I hope you can find someway to continue to blog and post!!
Still praying for Parker, and you my friend!
Oh no. I know what you mean. I had to go out and CHARGE a new laptop because the other was dying AND it was a struggle to get any time at all. I will miss you over at 5MinforSN. {sniff,sniff}
Just wanted to say I wish you & your family all the best!! I’ll miss not getting to read your blog, but I understand your reason for leaving. Hope Parker is feeling better!!
Mommy I think you should never ever stop writing!!!! This is something you love to do, and your a amazing blogger. You should keep going!!!!!!!!! And you will make so many other people so sad if you stop!!!!
Love your blue eyed girl Kenny!!!
Thank you for fighting for those with Special needs even while you were fighting for your own sons life. I love blogs, but I do not think you can really change the world through blogging. What you do with your family and Parker everyday ican change the world, keep it up! If God makes a way I will be happy to keep reading but if not my prayers are with parker and you.
I will be very sad if you leave ‘bloggy world’ – really really sad.
I’ve always enjoyed your insightful, thought-provoking words and I think you have a real gift for putting in words what many people feel deeply.
I hope that someting happens to keep you online – otherwise, I will definitely miss your posts!
Oh, no!! I hope you can work out a way to fight the kids for a little computer time at night so we can still get a glimpse of what’s going on in your world. I wish you luck in your endeavor.
Tammy,
I would be happy to try and repair your laptop if you would like.
Send me an email message with the make and model and describe what is wrong with it (including any error messages that you may have been seeing recently).
If it’s not something major like a fried system board, I can most likely get it running like new again at no cost.
–Greg
I think I’m going to cry.
You are such an inspiration! I hope and pray you can find a way to work this out. ((HUGS))
As a blogger I know that break is often needed but I have to say, yours (blog) is one that I come to regularly for hope and inspiration, information and honesty. I am not willing to say goodbye – maybe see you soon..? Parker and your family have become a part of us as we have followed along on your journey. You are awesome. I hope you know that.
Happy Mother’s Day to you.
Oh no! I’m going to miss not being able to keep an eye on how sweet Parker is doing. I’ve followed your blog since Parker was a few months old and it’s amazing how he has come through so much. You & your blog will definitely be missed
:(!
Wait- what’s wrong with your laptop? Just that it won’t connect? Could you get a different router? I’ve had to do that a couple times. I may even have an old one I could send you if you think that’s the issue.
Oh no—say it ain’t so! I really hope you can maybe find a way to keep blogging–you are such a great writer and I love your perspective on life. Plus I would miss sweet Parker. Please reconsider!! Your kids will give you some blogging time…they know how important it is to you (See above)!!
Oh No..I will miss you and Parker
Would you ever consider using Facebook? You can post “notes” or whole Articles there and it’s free! I love watching your miracle son grow and flourish. Would you believe I was thinking of you last week when I met a Mom and her Daughter with DS. She was so cute, walking around and signing “more” Without your blog, I don’t know if I would have started a conversation.
Whatever you choose to do will be fine with me, just know that I will always keep you and Parker in my thoughts and prayers.
Carol Z in Philadelphia
Twitter: sewingdivamom
May 7, 10
Please don’t leave us
wow Tammy…I’ve been following you and your family for so long I can’t imagine not knowing how Parker is doing. I’ll always be praying for him….hugs and love to all of you
I have never written to you. I have admired you, learned from you & worried with you (we also have a child with pulmonary hypertension). I think you, Parker and your whole family have so much to give to others through your expereinces and talent for writing.
Thank you for giving me and so many so much.
with Hope,
~ Chris A ~
Scottsdale, AZ
uh no… that won’t be tolerated.
I have followed your blog for a long time. I really hope and pray you can get your laptop fixed. I’m sure it is a much needed outlet for you.
I will miss reading your updates if this is it! Hope you have a happy Mother’s day today~
I have stalked your blog for a very long time and have never left a comment. However, I check your blog everyday. You have opened my eyes to many things families with children that have special needs go through. I have talked to my kids about the word “retard” and I have also made a mental note to myself to be more friendly and outgoing when I see a child that has a special need and teach my kids the same. In fact over the weekend i talked to a boy with DS and he was such a sweetheart and was soooooo excited about his icecream!
At any rate, I will miss reading your blog and when your hero is healthy and learning and playing outside; and pray and worry when he is not doing so well. If anything, thanks for opening up my eyes! I hope this really is not a farewell and your laptop can be fixed.
and yes, I know you posted this a few days ago…I was still too shy to leave a comment so I had to work up the courage. 😉
Tammy,
I haven’t heard back from you but I am serious about fixing your laptop for free (provided the system board isn’t dead or something like that).
I fix a few computers every month for neighbors, friends, family, etc (my way of giving a little back for all the blessings my family and I have received.) So please don’t hesitate to let me fix it for you. I know how important it is to have a laptop so you can be in the same room with Parker while you update your blog.
We are in West Jordan so we would just need to work out a way to get it from you, and then if it is fixable I’d have it back to you soon after.
So shoot me an email or leave a comment on our blog so that I know how to get in touch with you…
–Greg