Sometimes the once upon a time me sneaks up and reminds the me in the present of goals set and dreams once dreamt. She reminds me that debt and doctors and pulmonary hypertension were never supposed to be part of our future, and that when my kids finally reached they age they have I would enter into the time that would be known as mine.
For the last year I’ve hoped the internet might provide a way for me to bring in a bit of extra income. The sometimes paycheck and recognition my writing has brought in has been nice. While maybe not consistent, it’s been very welcome.
I’ve searched the web over for something I could do while still tending to an often sick child. One eye on my laptop and the other on the sat monitor during another all nighter while sitting in the sweats I pulled on three days ago.
It takes a lot of time online to market yourself. Hours of each day. Precious moments that once gone can never be had again. I’m finding that the more time I spend trying to land a paying gig, the more frustrated I’m becoming.
I’m noticing that I’m spending less time on the things that matter most.
Today I remembered the title of a book I once saw: “Do What You Love And The Rest Will Follow”
Luckily most of my loves can be found right here at home. Many centering around a certain Brave Hero that needs his Mom to be focused on him instead of so focused on an online job.
So, I’m going to go back to the things that are most important.
Perhaps there will be time later to work on political campaigns and make it big on the internet.
And if there isn’t, it really doesn’t matter.
Doing what I love will be enough. Even if the rest never follows.
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