What a day. Actually the last three weeks have included experiences that have made me wonder if my head might burst into flames, but today has been the very worst for you. Since the wee hours of the morning you have been crying and in pain. At first we thought that it might be due to the fact that you are tying to cut every single tooth in your head all at once (why is nothing ever easy for you?) but after Moltrin and Oragel and a wonderfully long bath there has been no improvement. Dad must have seen that certain look in my eyes when he came home because he immediately came into your safe room and took over ‘Parker Patrol.’ Finally his magical ‘over the knees and jiggle’ routine calmed you down some.

Did you know that you had one of your best PT sessions ever yesterday? The Synthroid seems to be working it’s magic on you. You didn’t cry once !. You were wiling to work and even lift up through your arms. Surely crawling can’t be that far away! I noticed last night when I checked on you in your crib that you were lying on your tummy with your knees tucked up under you. Now if we can only add that to you lifting up through your arms when you are awake we will be almost there! I’m am so proud of how hard you work and am humbled at the obstacles you have chosen to overcome.

Yesterday was your auction during the Highland Fling. You should have seen how your brothers and sisters pulled together and all that they did to make this event such a success. They hauled stuff over, set stuff up, worked the bake sale and then brought everything home again. The night before we received a call from the owners of a new music store that has opened locally. They wanted to know if they could donate a new set of drums to your auction. You would have loved these drums. I don’t think any boys under the age of 90 could resist their lure. Everytime I looked over the was another big kid sitting and rocking out in their imaginations. I even heard one guy humming “Stairway to Heaven” while sitting there with his eyes closed. The person that won them was actually one of the BMX guys there doing stunts for the Fling. He dedicated that performance to you. And he signed one of his shirts for you. Of course you are still so small that you could slip through one of it’s sleeves , but that’s okay. I’ll keep it safe for you until you are bigger and stronger and healthier.

Did you know that every day when Brant comes home the first thing he does is check on you. Even if you are in your bouncy chair having a great time he will pick you up and hold you. He believes that our love can make you well. He believes that if we have enough faith and make sure you always know how much you are loved and keep you close to our hearts both literally and figuratively that you will one day be healthy enough to run around and make messes and do all the things other little boys can do.

I was talking to your dad the other night about a comment someone made about me only sitting around and focusing on your health issues. We both kind of shook our heads and wondered about how, as parents, we couldn’t spend so much time focusing on these issues. With 12 different daily medications, most taken several times a day, having to schedule feedings so as not to have them interfer with your meds, having to check sats , and cpap, and give therapies we have to be focused. Your life depends on us not dropping the ball.

What we work hard at not doing is obsessing. Obsessing just robs our heart of hope. There is a huge difference between being focused and being obsessed. I love being your Mom. I love being a Mom to your brothers and sisters too. Without a doubt I consider it to be the greatest gift I have ever been given.

I just looked in on you. You are lying on your tummy and that 2 liters of O2 is making you sound like a leaky tire. But you are quiet and peaceful and gently sleeping. For the first time today you are finally able to rest, and my heart can also finally relax.

Momma loves you little man.

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