***Update to the Udate:
Parker has been in the cath lab for about an hour now. He was so not happy when he saw where we were. He fought every nurse that came anywhere near him.
That’s my boy.
They finally gave him some verscet,(sp) cause they needed to be able to get close enough to Parker to be able to put an IV in.
Reed and I are trying our best to be upbeat, but really the worry is kicking our butts. We just want so much to be able to have hope that Parker’s life plan includes some serious time with us HERE. I know families are eternal, but I want to be able to raise this kid HERE. And, yes, I can be selfish when it comes to things like this. I freely admit it.
I am really wishing I had just called my GP and asked for one Xann*x. Just one. But then I thought I should just put on my big girl panties and be strong.
Not my best call of the week. sigh……
Never once have we blinked an eye at the extra chromosome. Never once have we felt anything but thankful for this amazing soul we have been given stewardship over. We are willing to do whatever it takes to realize the amazing potential that Parker was born with.
But losing him would simply be more than we could bear.
Please keep praying for good news.
Our check in time tomorrow is 1:00. I was surprised at how late it was. This means that we will be there until the wee hours of Wednesday morning as after the procedure Parker has to be kept still and and flat on his back.
I spent today madly cleaning and getting laundry caught up. I’m thinking that the cleaner my house is the better chance we have of getting good news tomorrow.
I told you I was a bit of a mess.
We are going to spend Family Night tonight watching Enchanted. I’m going to pop up a bunch of what my kids call ‘old fashioned’ popcorn. You know, the kind you pop on the stove with oil in the pan. You’d think I’d just invented sliced bread or something.
And you would be proud of me. Instead of reaching for a giant sized bottle of Dr. Pepper today I’ve kept myself on plan. I’ve set a goal and I’m sticking to it.
The worry has been there for several weeks now. But I’ve worked hard on keeping it at bay. As tomorrow has gotten closer I’ve felt the fear in the pit of my stomach, growing stronger and weighing my heart down.
Tomorrow’s right heart cath will reveal whether or not traching Parker has done it’s job and brought down his Pulmonary Hypertension levels.
It will let us know if we can finally plant our seeds of hope for a long future with Parker. The results from Parker’s last right heart cath were grim. They spoke of a severely shortened life span, of a childhood cut way too short.
My anxiety levels climb even contemplating losing this most amazing of brave souls. All I want to do today is crawl back under the covers and lose myself in the sleep that so effectively evaded me last night.
I’ve been holding this verse close to my heart:
Ã¢â‚¬Å“There can be miracles when you believeÃ¢â‚¬Â¦For with God nothing shall be impossibleÃ¢â‚¬Â Luke 1:37
“Believe” That is my mantra. My hope. What keeps me going on days like today.
And from Psalms 139:13-16
For you created my inmost being;
You knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
When I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
Your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
Were written in your book
Before one of them came to be.
Just so you know the actual cross stitch is absolutely FLAWLESS. My photography skills that could use a bit of help.
Last night Reed and my Dad gave Parker a Priesthood blessing. How thankful I am for worthy Priesthood holders. How thankful I am for my testimony of a loving Heavenly Father, and my knowledge that families are eternal.
We are asking for prayers today…..lots of them. Prayers to safely see Parker through this procedure tomorrow. Prayers to ask our Father in Heaven for good results and feedback. And prayers for the promise of a long and happy future with our son.
Thank you so much for your love and support. It means the world to us.