We’ve noticed some behaviors our Brave Hero is sporting lately that are a bit concerning.
Little things, that are at the same time big things.
Like Parker’s car seat. Parker LOVES to go for rides in the car. I used to feel guilty seeing how excited he was to get into his car seat, with what I knew were thoughts of a grand adventure in mind, even though I also knew that he was heading to a surgery. Or a blood draw. Or anything that wasn’t fun. It didn’t matter though. A car ride was worth it all.
Now Parker holds on to me for dear life each time I try to put him in his car seat. It’s taking one person to position Parker and another to peel him off my neck to get him into his car seat.
So very different from his usual. And, well, concerning.
The next example is Parker’s play set. The one that he has spent every minute he possibly could climbing up the stairs of in order to slide back down.
Now? He doesn’t want to climb up. When he does make the climb, he’s terrified of sliding down.
Many times when I try to encourage him to climb up the stairs he’ll head back inside instead. Just today I had to carry him down off the slide platform because I couldn’t bear to see the scared in his eyes when I was trying to entice him to slide down.
Nothing bad that I know of has happened. But that is the guilty part. The part that I don’t know of. We’ve had a herd of new nurses tromping through our lives lately. Nurses that while willing to sit at the top of the play set and hang out on Facebook via their phone, weren’t willing to actually interact with Parker outside.
But that wouldn’t explain the fear of getting into his car seat.
Wet and cold weather may be great for peas, but not so much for little boys.
I had hoped to spend this Spring Break taking Parker on trips where only fun was involved, in hopes of calling a truce with his car seat. Unfortunately I missed the memo that the weather at the end of this break would make going outside not the best of ideas.
Then there has been the more than usual time spent on the computer researching insurance appeals and trying to find ways to provide Parker with a Sleep Safer High Bed, and registering our upcoming yard sale with the Utah Division of Consumer Protection…….just in case my local Troll decides to try to stir her usual pot of bitterness.
Good times, eh?
I’ve spent so much time trying to break Parker of his habit of chewing on his oxygen tubing. Imagine my surprise when his feeding therapist told me how great it was for him to take that tubing and chew on it with his back molars. I’ll be making him an oxygen tubing ‘necklace’ just for this very thing.
I’ve made the decision that if this appeal is denied, then I’m going to have to find an alternate route to provide Parker with the safe sort of bed he needs. I think insurance companies know that Mama’s of medically fragile children sometimes don’t have the tenacity needed to keep fighting their denials, because their children’s needs are so all encompassing. So they deny. Again. Again. And again.
My kid just seems different lately. Not as happy. Not as outgoing. Not as willing to take his usual chances that make my hairs grow gray.
And it’s making my heart hurt. A lot.
It could be something as simple as the damn sinus infection he’s been battling for over a month now. The one we’ve been given two refills of clindamycin to make sure we finally knock this sucker out.
But maybe it’s something deeper. Something I can’t know of because Parker lacks the ability to tell me.
One of the sweetest things I find Parker doing is walking around the house with his hands clapsed firmly behind him like a tiny Professor. Oh, how I wish I knew what he was thinking.
If that makes my heart feel as though it’s been ripped out, stomped on, and left to wither, I can’t imagine what it makes Parker’s heart feel like.
I’m signing off for the weekend. A long weekend. I need to spend some time with my Bravest of Heroes trying to convince him that all is good in the world….including the world of slides and car seats and his Mama’s love.
I‘ll let God worry about safe beds, bitter hearts and other things I can’t control.
Have any of you ever noticed changes in your child’s behavior like the one’s we have noticed with Parker? What did you do about it?