Asking for prayers on Tuesday

I can’t quite put my finger on it.

The feeling I get right before any and every Cardiologist appointment.

It’s like I’m preparing for disappointment just in case.

I’m mourning in advance.

Just in case.

Always the very real possibility of bad news. It’s happened before.  An EKG telling us that the pulmonary hypertension is moving in the wrong direction.   I was very specific  after the last echo that any future echos would come with sedation.  No echos are scheduled for tomorrow.  Unless the EKG comes in scary.  Then I know the cardiologist will want an echo and it will be too late for the sedation.

argh.

The thing is that during an EKG even though we ask Parker to be still……he isn’t.  He’s everywhere.  Then during the echo, even though we do everything but sit on the kid to keep him still, he’s everywhere.   And everywhere has a tendency to screw up test results.

double argh.

I’m not asking for miracles.  I have a firm grasp on reality.  But it’s a reality that includes a certain Bravest of Heroes in my life for many years to come.  IF the PH complies.

 

I’ll be thrilled if everything simply looks the same.  Holding steady is a good thing in the life we live. Regardless, we are in for the ‘let’s schedule a right heart cath’ talk.   I’ll push for a summer cath.  Or maybe we should just get it over with.  It’s always something when ‘medically fragile’ is part of your child’s diagnosis.

I should have known better than to plan a cardiologist visit at the beginning of the Christmas season.  Our original appointment was in October, but Parker was sick and we had to reschedule…..all the way to tomorrow.

There’s nothing like appointments with a cardiologist to flush your jolly right down the tubes.

We’re asking for prayers for tomorrow.  Prayers of peace  and maybe just a teeny bit of joy as we walk out the doors of tomorrow’s appointment.

Prayers that we can look towards the future with a sweet bit of hope.

 

Parker’s appointment starts at 12:30 Utah time tomorrow if you have a moment to send up a prayer for him, we’d be so very grateful.  

 

About Tammy and Parker

Special Needs Blogger, and homeschooling Mom, heavily involved in advocacy for all kids with special needs in Utah.

Comments

  1. I just hung up the phone with my husband. We were discussing our fears/holiday struggles/Jack. We laughed and said, “Actually, since we’ve met our out of pocket/deductible for the year, we OUGHT to be calling everyone and getting EVERYTHING done we can before Jan 1!”

    That said, I am hugging you. That trepidation, fear, agony….it’s palpable. My prayers are always with y’all. Always.

    • Heather, I was just thinking that Christmas should be a time of PEACE……not HIGH ALERT! Between worrying about money, Parker’s health, wondering if he’ll be in the hospital for Christmas or not, and now a stinkin’ cardiology appointment I feel the need to simply take a long winter’s nap all the way through the Holiday…. I can’t tell you how much I wish it were Wednesday already! lol.

      This is our first year with out of pocket/deductibles and we are feeling the bite! I’m sure our deductible is much less than most, but it’s still a shock to the wallet. People don’t realize that Medicaid is Parker’s secondary…… a secondary that has been known to stick it’s tongue out at us and blows a HUGE raspberry. ;D

      I agree though, you should get as many appointments in before January 1st. Ours doesn’t reset until July I think.

      We love you guys……..and pray for Jack. You know that! You and I need to spend some long distance time together! xoxo

  2. Oh, sending many hugs and prayers. Aaron’s echos have been unchanged for so long, those don’t bother me as much. But we do twice yearly ultrasounds for cancer screenings, and I’m a mess for the whole week before. Praying for peace, and maybe that he’ll even hold still for the EKG. Hey, it’s the season of miracles, isn’t it? {{{HUGS}}}

  3. Candice says:

    Sending prayers, thoughts, loves, hugs and everything positive!! Paelyn has her sedated ultrasound tomorrow…..nothing but good, positive thoughts for our kido’s tomorrow and “I think I can” “I think I can” for us <3

  4. My PRAYERS are with you, and in the Name of JESUS I am asking all goes WELL. Be Blessed, Mtetar

  5. Chris says:

    Do you really think he’ll want a cath again so soon? I would have to hear a very good reason for that. At any rate, you know I freak out when Nana sees the cardiologist, so I get that. Keep us posted, please. I’m never too busy to help if I can.

  6. Been thinking about you all day. Hoping it went well.

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