A Heart That Soars

Parker lives to go outside. He hears a door open and off he goes hoping for an opportunity to venture yonder.

When my other two boys were little they too lived for going outside.

Must be a gentic thing.

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So when the weather permits, we load up our Brave Hero and head out for great adventure.

With oxygen bottle and tubing in tow, Parker and I cruised the neighborhood this morning. Feeling especially brave, I decide to take Parker across the road near our home. We reach the cross walk and while saying a little prayer we step between the two white lines.

Not many in the state of Utah understand that the meaning of those two white lines is to stop and let the poor souls trying to cross do so.

Hence the need for a prayer before we step out.

We cruise and I point out different object to Parker. Houses. Trees. Clouds. Birds. Flowers.

Looking ahead I notice another Mom, also pushing a child in a stroller. This Mom makes her way over to greet me and Parker.

I’m pretty excited as I watch this Mom take in all the ‘stuff’ that is strapped to or hanging off of Parker’s stroller.

She looks at the oxygen bottle. Doesn’t faze her!

She notices the Parker’s trach. And takes it totally in stride!

Even the extra chromosome makes no difference as the new Mom introduces her son to Parker.

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My heart is beginning to soar. A Mom who gets it. Who sees past the different and looks only at the cute little kid before her.

Then the Mom asks how old Parker is.

I can’t deny the fact that for a fleeting moment I thought about lying straight through my smile and cutting off a couple of years from Parker’s age.

But because I am an advocate who wants people to accept my child for who he is, I answer with the truth.

Parker’s four, I reply.

As I notice the new Mom’s eye’s widen I realize that this, a four year the same size as her 18 month old, screams different in a way that she notices.

I forget how big a four year old is supposed to be. That when my other sons were four they wore size 5 and 6 in clothing.

Parker wears 2′s. With room to grow.

The Mom and I exchange a few more thoughts and we both continue on in our opposite directions.

For a minute, my heart hurts. I acknowledge that Parker’s life will be full of situations that will make his Mom’s heart hurt.

But then I remember that Parker will also be surrounded by family who will cover him in love all of his life. A family who knows what a blessing we have been given by Parker being in our family. A family who understands the beauty and potential that lies within different.

And my heart. My heart begins to soar again.

About Tammy and Parker

Special Needs Blogger, and homeschooling Mom, heavily involved in advocacy for all kids with special needs in Utah.

Comments

  1. Oh, I hope you have many, many more chances for your heart to soar very soon. I also hope, that if we met, I would be like that mom. :)

  2. I definitely understand these reactions and have seen both kinds. Hoping tomorrows tests go well.

  3. I am right there with you. I’ve been in similar situations and have felt the same way as you, too.

  4. I love your fishy hat Parker. I’m glad you got to go for a walk. It is snowing in Cleveland today.

  5. (Not nearly as bad as leaving the l out of public.)

    Yea, a love for the outdoors must be gentic.

    Funny I never imagined Utah to a state of crazed drivers. But prayer is always good. Praying for Parker.

  6. Jamie Rogers says:

    I will keep Parker in my prayers for sure! He looks like a sweet baby! My son, Reed (believe it or not) is 15 months. We are so blessed that he is healthy! He has DS and we did not know until he was born – it was shocking, but now I could not imagine my life without him! All our best – Dan and Jamie Rogers

  7. Parky! You look so cute in that hat! I am so glad his appointment went well!!!!!

  8. irene says:

    be strong.. this little guy needs you…dont worry about other people…some of them get it, some dont….you will meet great moms and there kids that just get it and will be good friends to you and parker…keep going

  9. Tzynya says:

    Few things compare to a mother’s heart.

  10. I just came across your blog from the comment you left on Queen of Spain’s blog (the post about mommybloggers). You have a great blog, and a beautiful little boy. Your comment on QOS’s blog was strong enough to get me here, and your writing and photos have kept me reading. You are one awesome mom.